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Frozen

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21 Jan 2014 02:42 - 30 Mar 2014 15:15 #1 by Musiclover
Musiclover created the topic: Frozen
Please feel free to comment and give critique on my song "cold". In my head it is actually supposed to be a duet, a pop song. ALso if you have any suggestions for a better name for the song- please let me know!


Closed our eyes and walked blind
​like snowflakes, we would break- eventually
I tripped, I fell, maybe you did as well
But on the ground, there was no sound- i lied alone

Now there's a shadow, in the cold
that i don't seem to know
it froze me, I don't know why
ripped out my heart, left me to die

Now it's snowing like it's never been snowing before
I'm so afraid to freeze again so i don't open the door
It's beautiful, but it's so cold- reminds me a little bit of you-
the reason why, I stay inside, I don't open the door
No not anymore


I opened my eyes and saw the lies
Now I'm hidden, frost-bitten from the cold
I got up, but only half i guess
and i see you, you're there too- buried in the snow

Now we're hollow, in our souls
you froze me like i froze you
shadowed the sun, I don't know why
As if we we're ready to die

Now it's snowing like it's never been snowing before
I'm so afraid to freeze again so i don't open the door
It's beautiful, but it's so cold- reminds me a little bit of you-
the reason why, I stay inside, I don't open the door
No not anymore


Its getting colder, colder inside
Lonelier, lonelier in my mind
You can cover yourself in layers and locks from the storm
But you know inside they wont keep you warm

Light me a candle will you, I’m frozen inside all blue
Oh light me a candle will you, I would have lit one for you
Light me candle will you, I would have done anything for you

Now it's snowing like it's never been snowing before
I'm so afraid to freeze again so i don't open the door
It's beautiful, but it's so cold- reminds me a little bit of you-
the reason why, I stay inside, I don't open the door
No not anymore


Last Edit: 30 Mar 2014 15:15 by Musiclover.

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13 Feb 2014 18:15 #2 by DKV25
DKV25 replied the topic: Cold
This is REALLY good. My only tip may be to name it something like "Frozen" or "Quiet Storm" instead of "Cold" just because it grabs your attention more and an audience would be like "Hey...that sounds interesting it's probably a good song!" And they'd be right cuz I think this is actually my favorite from you :)

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

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15 Feb 2014 04:43 #3 by Musiclover
Musiclover replied the topic: Cold
thank you so much- I actually like Frozen a lot for a name, and will probably use that instead of cold! :-)))

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04 Mar 2014 09:51 #4 by Tha Storyteller
Tha Storyteller replied the topic: Frozen
I like this. I would potentially change up some of the structure of the sections based on the melodies i get from the lyrics but again, similar to your last one, simple structure, tried and tested and also the hook is strong.

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